Archives for: June 2013

Batteries Not Included

fuzzy cuffs

A few weeks ago, I was swapping dog stories with a friend over lunch.  Little did I know, I was about to hear a doozy.  Buried deep in her closet was a bag full of toys (of the battery-operated kind).  Of course, it just so happened that her son was home from college on break.  Her curious dog was doing what she does best…rummaging through the nooks and crannies of the house…and came across the bags of whirlies, shakers and glow sticks.  What fun!  In an effort to share her new discovery, she brought each item to her “brother” in hopes that he would engage in a game of fetch.  Push-bottom technology (for ease of use) allowed most items to be delivered in the ON position.  Did the college kid do the admirable thing and put them back in his parents’ room for them to discover in due time and hope that nobody saw?  Of course not!  All of the years of violating his privacy was about to be repaid in full.  The best revenge, he decided, was to play dumb and see how mom explains herself.   Needless to say, she was mortified.

Another girlfriend recently returned from a visit with her elderly parents in Michigan.  Her sweet little mom sat her down for what she could sense was about to be a serious talk.  “Honey, I have one wish and I need to know that I can trust you completely to carry it out.”  She nodded in agreement, convinced that there was no task too great to fulfill.  “When I die, I want you to immediately take a big yard-sized trash bag and just dump the contents of my drawers into it without looking.  Don’t unwrap anything.  Trust that there will be nothing of value in there.  I don’t want anyone to look through my drawers.”  She smiled and Jenerously agreed.  I know she will honor that promise.

I was sharing this story with a group of friends and one in the group instantly asked me to do the same for her.  So next time you are at happy hour with friends, make sure to assign someone the noble duty of cleaning out your drawers.  And ask them to remove the batteries before they drag the bag past your family and friends.

A few weeks ago, I was swapping dog stories with a friend over lunch.  Little did I know, I was about to hear a doozy. ...

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